Withering Away

At what point am I considered “crazy”? She thought as she stared down at her phone and scrolled through the twenty calls …. All unanswered. To anyone else, she would’ve reached stalker ex-girlfriend status 15 calls ago, but she knew this was different. The depression had gripped him tight, like a constrictor and its prey. She spent hours trying to reason with him, despite knowing it was a useless approach. The emptiness radiated off of him and filled her home with an icy atmosphere. She shouldn’t have let him leave in that state. Now, she was left imagining the worst when in reality, he could just be oversleeping by a few hours. After all, it’s happened before.

She looked at herself in the mirror and saw the dark circles under eyes… her hollow cheeks that took form as her appetite dwindled the last few months. Was this worth it? She hears the words from her family and friends.

You are not responsible for him.

But she felt the opposite. She couldn’t shake it off of her. For so long, she had been the level-headed one. She had been the one with the plan and backup plans B through Z. She had been a partner for years. He pulled her out of her sadness, and she reciprocated. She imagined a different world where she could live freely. She didn’t commit herself to this in the beginning. Perhaps if she had known from the start, she wouldn’t be in this position.

Not caring would make me a terrible person, she reasoned. She couldn’t walk away from someone who needed her support. The thoughts wouldn’t leave her head. She couldn’t break herself from it. Maybe one day. Maybe a few more talks with her family would do it.

For now, she was stuck.