Unstable

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I love Thursdays. I know that’s kind of weird. I love being super productive at work and knowing that tomorrow is Friday.

Today is the first pretty good day in a while. I haven’t felt like I’ve had an actual good day since the breakup. I’m still trying to figure that mess out.

I’ve found more motivation today. I was able to get back into the zone and knock out a big chunk of a paper that I had been struggling to write for the last two weeks. I am hoping this means I’m emerging from this rut.

Meanwhile, in my personal life, I’m back to where I was before.

Disrespected and not appreciated.

Who knows when I’ll gain the strength to put an end to it. For now, everything in my life is so unstable that I am afraid to make any changes. If I do, then everything may come tumbling down. That may not be such a bad thing. A fresh start sounds so appealing. I literally dream about it. Dropping everything, moving to a coastal city, and starting a new career. It would be tough and I’d probably be back to the entry-level/internship tasks, but I could rebuild. For now it remains a dream…until my actual life stabilizes.

Remember how I said every night I read and write for fun? Last night, I did neither. I binged Stranger Things, and it was so enjoyable. I think I need a break from TV though… tonight I’ll be back to reading and writing.

I hope you all have survived the week. Tomorrow is Friday!

Until next time…