I’m tired of everyone expecting me to fix my life instantly.
I’m tired of people forcing me to feel something I can’t.
I can’t please anyone.
They want me happy.
They want me angry.
They want me sad.
If I am one, I can’t be the other.
They make me feel selfish and foolish for treating a major life change as a major life change.
Because I choose to go to work and remain professional, I must be all better.
Forcing me to socialize will somehow make me happy.
Now that the wedding date has come and gone, I must not feel anything.
I now know why people fault me for being compassionate towards someone else’s struggles.
I now know why they consider it weak and self-harming.
Because they have no compassion themselves.
They cannot sympathize.
They take what they see at face value and expect me to just move on.
It’s been 4 months since my life was turned upside down.
It’s been 1.5 months since I was to be married.
No one heals that quickly, and I will not be forced to in an effort to make other people feel better.