What do you want from me.

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I’m tired of everyone expecting me to fix my life instantly.

I’m tired of people forcing me to feel something I can’t.

I can’t please anyone.

They want me happy.

They want me angry.

They want me sad.

If I am one, I can’t be the other.

They make me feel selfish and foolish for treating a major life change as a major life change.

Because I choose to go to work and remain professional, I must be all better.

Forcing me to socialize will somehow make me happy.

Now that the wedding date has come and gone, I must not feel anything.

I now know why people fault me for being compassionate towards someone else’s struggles.

I now know why they consider it weak and self-harming.

Because they have no compassion themselves.

They cannot sympathize.

They take what they see at face value and expect me to just move on.

It’s been 4 months since my life was turned upside down.

It’s been 1.5 months since I was to be married.

No one heals that quickly, and I will not be forced to in an effort to make other people feel better.