4/5 stars The Sandell family seem perfectly normal. Stella is a typical teenager eager for exploration and independence. Stella’s mother is a hardworking lawyer. Stella’s father is a well-known pastor. Their lives get turned around when Stella is arrested for the murder of a 32-year-old man. The Sandel family soon learns just how far they’ll … More A Nearly Normal Family
Something really gross happened this morning. In a comment, someone resorted to gaslighting and claimed my advocacy is the reason why no one is lining up to adopt from foster care–they’ll gladly wait years for that “blank-slate” newborn. I don’t have enough empathy. I’m too judgmental. For adopted people, there is almost always an element … More Gaslighting at its finest
Trigger Warning: Offensive language against Chinese people (used to describe a racist situation) People tell me to stop talking about race when I’m an adoptee advocate. They tell me to not talk about adoption when I’m discussion racism. What a beautiful privilege it would be if I could choose when to be what! Unfortunately, I … More My identity is not a mask I can take off when things get tough.
They called me “Gorilla”. They asked me if Donkey Kong was my father. They asked me if my forehead was so big because my brain got large from doing a lot of math. They asked me if I ate dog at home. The torments on the school bus were relentless. Finally, I refused to ride … More Are your terms of endearment actually racist?
An essay on secondary abandonment and valuing oneself. There they were. Those words that had dictated my entire life. I was so loved, I was abandoned. I was about to hit “order” on the invitation website. Save the dates had already been distributed. A wedding shower was thrown and the thank you cards were sent … More I love you so much I gave you up.
4/5 stars Jen Dixon is back! Gone are the kindergarten days… she’s now the class mom for third grade! A lot has happened since we last saw Jen, but what hasn’t changed is the snark and charm that (almost) all of her fellow parents love. After reading Class Mom, I immediately picked up this sequel. … More You’ve Been Volunteered
So you think I am just an angry adoptee. You’re frustrated that I talk about some hard stuff. You don’t understand why I wouldn’t just see my life as a huge blessing. Let me clue you in to something. I was not angry until you invalidated my experiences. I was not angry until you tone … More The Angry Adoptee You Created.
I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’ve considered giving up many times. It doesn’t matter how much I tone police myself. It doesn’t matter how many rainbows and unicorns I sprinkle on top of my blogs and videos. I always get the backlash about how I’m ungrateful, how I’m bitter, how I’m an “ugly chink”, and how … More Are you threatened by me?
Something that has always irked me is when adoptees speak out about racism and microaggressions (or really any not-rainbows-and-unicorns experience) and it is met with comments from adoptive parents along the lines of, “Well my adoptee has never spoken to me about this so they don’t experience it.” Or worse… “My adoptee hasn’t spoken to … More I don’t experience it. That’s what matters.
5/5 stars Jess and Lily are sisters who haven’t spoken in three decades. Their mother, Audrey, doesn’t know why, but her biggest hope is that they will make amends and reunite. It would be even better if her two teenage granddaughters could meet and they could be a proper family. As Audrey does her best … More If Only I Could Tell You