What's Invalidation?

Trigger Warning: Racist language used against Asians (used in a quote said to me) Invalidation comes in all forms. I experience it most often when my graphics and posts get shared and exposed to people who have never confronted complexities with adoption and race. “Won’t discredit her feelings, but I fear she’s had different experiences … More What's Invalidation?

Becoming AdopteeLilly

When an adoptee has the floor, do not derail the conversation to prove how woke you are. My name is Lillian飞岗 Schmaltz, and this is my story. October 15, 1994, I was born in Nanning, Guangxi. Approximately 3 days later, I was found at the local police station and brought to the Nanning Social Welfare … More Becoming AdopteeLilly

Adopted kids grow up to be (outspoken) adult adoptees.

I’m not here to provide loopholes. I’m not spending my time answering questions that are so obviously used to gain permission to continue unhealthy behavior. I am not an enabler. I will have genuine conversations with you that challenge your beliefs. I may play devil’s advocate to force you into considering unknown perspectives. I’ll call … More Adopted kids grow up to be (outspoken) adult adoptees.

Gaslighting at its finest

Something really gross happened this morning. In a comment, someone resorted to gaslighting and claimed my advocacy is the reason why no one is lining up to adopt from foster care–they’ll gladly wait years for that “blank-slate” newborn. I don’t have enough empathy. I’m too judgmental. For adopted people, there is almost always an element … More Gaslighting at its finest

My identity is not a mask I can take off when things get tough.

Trigger Warning: Offensive language against Chinese people (used to describe a racist situation) People tell me to stop talking about race when I’m an adoptee advocate. They tell me to not talk about adoption when I’m discussion racism. What a beautiful privilege it would be if I could choose when to be what! Unfortunately, I … More My identity is not a mask I can take off when things get tough.