Are you threatened by me?

I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’ve considered giving up many times. It doesn’t matter how much I tone police myself. It doesn’t matter how many rainbows and unicorns I sprinkle on top of my blogs and videos. I always get the backlash about how I’m ungrateful, how I’m bitter, how I’m an “ugly chink”, and how … More Are you threatened by me?

I don’t experience it. That’s what matters.

Something that has always irked me is when adoptees speak out about racism and microaggressions (or really any not-rainbows-and-unicorns experience) and it is met with comments from adoptive parents along the lines of, “Well my adoptee has never spoken to me about this so they don’t experience it.” Or worse… “My adoptee hasn’t spoken to … More I don’t experience it. That’s what matters.

Who do I look like?

What is it like to look in the mirror when you don’t know anyone you are biologically related to? Do most people look at themselves and have those quick thoughts about how they have their mother’s eyes or their father’s nose? What do I think about? I question who I look like. I question what … More Who do I look like?

It’s Not About Being Beautiful. It’s About Being Comfortable.

I stared into the mirror with frustration growing inside of me. I had been trying to apply liquid, winged eyeliner for the last twenty minutes. Nothing was working. I had applied, wiped off, and re-applied too many times now. Tears were starting to form. No. I could not cry. That would ruin the rest of … More It’s Not About Being Beautiful. It’s About Being Comfortable.

Am I Broken?

I must be broken. That’s the only explanation. Unwanted by those supposed to love me most. I must be defective. They must see something fundamentally wrong with me. Relinquished by my birth family. Left shortly before my wedding. Good people don’t have this happen to them, do they? I’m not really sure anymore. It seems … More Am I Broken?