They called me “Gorilla”. They asked me if Donkey Kong was my father. They asked me if my forehead was so big because my brain got large from doing a lot of math. They asked me if I ate dog at home. The torments on the school bus were relentless. Finally, I refused to ride … More Are your terms of endearment actually racist?
An essay on secondary abandonment and valuing oneself. There they were. Those words that had dictated my entire life. I was so loved, I was abandoned. I was about to hit “order” on the invitation website. Save the dates had already been distributed. A wedding shower was thrown and the thank you cards were sent … More I love you so much I gave you up.
So you think I am just an angry adoptee. You’re frustrated that I talk about some hard stuff. You don’t understand why I wouldn’t just see my life as a huge blessing. Let me clue you in to something. I was not angry until you invalidated my experiences. I was not angry until you tone … More The Angry Adoptee You Created.
I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’ve considered giving up many times. It doesn’t matter how much I tone police myself. It doesn’t matter how many rainbows and unicorns I sprinkle on top of my blogs and videos. I always get the backlash about how I’m ungrateful, how I’m bitter, how I’m an “ugly chink”, and how … More Are you threatened by me?
Something that has always irked me is when adoptees speak out about racism and microaggressions (or really any not-rainbows-and-unicorns experience) and it is met with comments from adoptive parents along the lines of, “Well my adoptee has never spoken to me about this so they don’t experience it.” Or worse… “My adoptee hasn’t spoken to … More I don’t experience it. That’s what matters.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything other than a book review. As my 25th birthday approaches and I reflect on what 24 brought me, I decided to take some time to acknowledge what’s been going on and what I’ve learned. As you probably know from my previous blog, I successfully passed my … More Thoughts as I approach 25…
What is it like to look in the mirror when you don’t know anyone you are biologically related to? Do most people look at themselves and have those quick thoughts about how they have their mother’s eyes or their father’s nose? What do I think about? I question who I look like. I question what … More Who do I look like?
I stared into the mirror with frustration growing inside of me. I had been trying to apply liquid, winged eyeliner for the last twenty minutes. Nothing was working. I had applied, wiped off, and re-applied too many times now. Tears were starting to form. No. I could not cry. That would ruin the rest of … More It’s Not About Being Beautiful. It’s About Being Comfortable.
I must be broken. That’s the only explanation. Unwanted by those supposed to love me most. I must be defective. They must see something fundamentally wrong with me. Relinquished by my birth family. Left shortly before my wedding. Good people don’t have this happen to them, do they? I’m not really sure anymore. It seems … More Am I Broken?
Those jokes highlight differences. They other people. Sure, the attribute might be positive and uncommon in the family. A joke about adoption would appear to make adoption seem like a great thing then. … More Punchline: You’re adopted.