If you’ve been following my advocacy and not just my book reviews, then you know I share a lot of myself when talking about adoption. I share both old and new experiences in an effort to make other transracial adoptees feel less alone. I carefully curate what I share. Often, I share everything and then … More My Social Media Boundaries
For the last few months, I’ve been evaluating my time investment when it comes to advocacy. Sadly, with my PhD progressing and side projects in the works, making even just monthly videos is no longer sustainable. Behind the scenes, I spend my time answering questions and sharing parts of myself with people through DMs… all … More Advocacy Update !!!
Often, people ask me how I do it all—a PhD, advocacy, reading, writing, Chinese lessons, exercise, socializing, taking care of my pets. When I hear that, I think to myself, “That’s not really a lot of stuff.” There are people with way more on their plate than me. There are people with way less time … More How I Balance Life
Trigger Warning: Racist language used against Asians (used in a quote said to me) Invalidation comes in all forms. I experience it most often when my graphics and posts get shared and exposed to people who have never confronted complexities with adoption and race. “Won’t discredit her feelings, but I fear she’s had different experiences … More What's Invalidation?
It’s December 30th, 2019 which means it’s time for a post full of self-reflection and cliches. I’ll start by acknowledging that I think this is the very first time I have posted a picture of myself here. What started as an anonymous blog has morphed into something I am proud to take ownership of… a … More Welcome to 2020
This applies to every day of the year, but since the holidays are approaching it seems like a perfect time to write about this. It’s so easy for people on the outside to say, “Oh you can suck it up for one day.” Frankly no, I cannot suck it up for one day. I hate … More Don't Let Anyone Pick Your Battles For You
I write a lot about this breakup and abandonment because I see it relate so directly to how I feel about adoption. The same words were used. I had no say in the matter. The same phrases of comfort are given to me. This is a very tangible moment I can process and write about. … More Dodged one bullet, got hit by another
An essay on secondary abandonment and valuing oneself. There they were. Those words that had dictated my entire life. I was so loved, I was abandoned. I was about to hit “order” on the invitation website. Save the dates had already been distributed. A wedding shower was thrown and the thank you cards were sent … More I love you so much I gave you up.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything other than a book review. As my 25th birthday approaches and I reflect on what 24 brought me, I decided to take some time to acknowledge what’s been going on and what I’ve learned. As you probably know from my previous blog, I successfully passed my … More Thoughts as I approach 25…
Stability used to be the most important thing to her. She would sacrifice other areas of her life if it meant she didn’t have to deal with change. She was still doing that. Even after everything. She wasn’t happy in life, but being stable was more important than being happy. She was gaining strength. She … More Stability.