I write a lot about this breakup and abandonment because I see it relate so directly to how I feel about adoption. The same words were used. I had no say in the matter. The same phrases of comfort are given to me. This is a very tangible moment I can process and write about. … More Dodged one bullet, got hit by another
An essay on secondary abandonment and valuing oneself. There they were. Those words that had dictated my entire life. I was so loved, I was abandoned. I was about to hit “order” on the invitation website. Save the dates had already been distributed. A wedding shower was thrown and the thank you cards were sent … More I love you so much I gave you up.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything other than a book review. As my 25th birthday approaches and I reflect on what 24 brought me, I decided to take some time to acknowledge what’s been going on and what I’ve learned. As you probably know from my previous blog, I successfully passed my … More Thoughts as I approach 25…
As you know, I went on vacation last weekend. Except it was definitely the type of vacation where you are more tired after you get back. Friday finally came and I was so happy to be able to have a relaxing weekend. I have spent my time reading (although I am not too thrilled about … More Finally a Restful Weekend
Lately, I’ve been looking at my life and thinking, Can this really be happening? And no. Not in a good way. I look at my life and laugh because I had a whole plan. Everything was going according to plan. Until it wasn’t. Until everything started to go wrong, and I couldn’t seem to make … More Go With The Flow
I thought I was leaving the rut. I thought everything was going to be left behind. I was moving forward. Silly me. Official Note from XXX City. That’s what the envelope said. I was stupid enough to think it was a parking ticket I was unaware of. Of course it wasn’t. It was a reminder … More Backtracking.
I’m tired of everyone expecting me to fix my life instantly. I’m tired of people forcing me to feel something I can’t. I can’t please anyone. They want me happy. They want me angry. They want me sad. If I am one, I can’t be the other. They make me feel selfish and foolish for … More What do you want from me.
I feel like a fool. I was that typical engaged girl. Showing off my ring. Documenting every wedding planning step. Pretending to be shy whenever anyone asked me about my engagement, but really I wanted to never stop talking about it. I’m sure I annoyed everyone who followed me on social media. Don’t lie. We’ve … More I did nothing wrong.
I had no clue if what I was doing was traditional. I didn’t really care. I was so excited at the first fitting for my wedding dress. I wasn’t wearing the store sample. I was wearing my dress. What did I do that might not be so traditional? I brought my dad along. He was … More Just a dress in a box.
Graduate school ends relationships. It’s a mentality that many hold. No, I haven’t searched for the statistics on how many relationships actually end because of graduate school. However, a quick google search will yield numerous articles and forums all along the lines of, “Did graduate school kill your relationship?” No, I’m not going into the … More I Didn’t Do Enough