Stability.

Stability used to be the most important thing to her. She would sacrifice other areas of her life if it meant she didn’t have to deal with change. She was still doing that. Even after everything. She wasn’t happy in life, but being stable was more important than being happy. She was gaining strength. She … More Stability.

Reward or Necessity?

So, what is self care exactly? When do you do it? Do you only allow for self care after you’ve gone through a period of extremely hard work? That’s what I used to do. I wouldn’t allow myself a break or period of treating myself unless I achieved a specific level of success. That was … More Reward or Necessity?

More Like Myself

I admire my lightened hair in the mirror. Three inches cut off, and highlights so blonde they are almost silver. I love being able to do what I want with my hair. At one point, I even had maroon hair. My whole life, society told me I had to have black hair. It matched my … More More Like Myself

Just a dress in a box.

I had no clue if what I was doing was traditional. I didn’t really care. I was so excited at the first fitting for my wedding dress. I wasn’t wearing the store sample. I was wearing my dress. What did I do that might not be so traditional? I brought my dad along. He was … More Just a dress in a box.

I’m Sorry…?

Another day, another fight. It was just like all of the others. They fought for hours. It went around in circles. She thought they had moved onto another topic, but suddenly they were back at the beginning. The fights always ended the same too. They would eventually get tired of arguing, and things were just … More I’m Sorry…?

Why Must I Uproot?

Those stress headaches? The ones that seem to come out of nowhere? I’ve been dealing with those for months now. Work causes them. My “relationship” causes them. There is always stress. There is always anxiety. I think things are fixed, but then they go back to the way they were. I’ve tried everything. What else … More Why Must I Uproot?

Shrinking Into Nothing

I can feel myself deteriorating. I am so tempted to just take the next steps and free myself of this insanity. Yes, I did manage to get writing done last night. I also stayed up until 3 AM fighting for my self worth and value. I am exhausted. I can see so many ways out, … More Shrinking Into Nothing