So, what is self care exactly? When do you do it? Do you only allow for self care after you’ve gone through a period of extremely hard work? That’s what I used to do. I wouldn’t allow myself a break or period of treating myself unless I achieved a specific level of success. That was … More Reward or Necessity?
I admire my lightened hair in the mirror. Three inches cut off, and highlights so blonde they are almost silver. I love being able to do what I want with my hair. At one point, I even had maroon hair. My whole life, society told me I had to have black hair. It matched my … More More Like Myself
I had no clue if what I was doing was traditional. I didn’t really care. I was so excited at the first fitting for my wedding dress. I wasn’t wearing the store sample. I was wearing my dress. What did I do that might not be so traditional? I brought my dad along. He was … More Just a dress in a box.
Another day, another fight. It was just like all of the others. They fought for hours. It went around in circles. She thought they had moved onto another topic, but suddenly they were back at the beginning. The fights always ended the same too. They would eventually get tired of arguing, and things were just … More I’m Sorry…?
*by bridesmaid I mean supportive friend One of the problems with not showing my struggles is that after a while, everyone thinks I’m fine. There are a handful of friends and family who know I’m not. I put on a happy face, and I tell people everything is okay because I don’t like being a … More Always the bridesmaid* never the bride…?
Those stress headaches? The ones that seem to come out of nowhere? I’ve been dealing with those for months now. Work causes them. My “relationship” causes them. There is always stress. There is always anxiety. I think things are fixed, but then they go back to the way they were. I’ve tried everything. What else … More Why Must I Uproot?
I can feel myself deteriorating. I am so tempted to just take the next steps and free myself of this insanity. Yes, I did manage to get writing done last night. I also stayed up until 3 AM fighting for my self worth and value. I am exhausted. I can see so many ways out, … More Shrinking Into Nothing
But that same pain reminds me that what we shared was real. Because isn’t that what love is? Giving yourself to someone. Giving them the power to hurt you and trusting they don’t. … More Love hurts.
I have somewhere to put the thoughts instead of isolating them in my head where I can overthink for months. It helps that I truly enjoy writing. Sitting down with an iced coffee and something to write with brings me so much happiness. … More In my head
Oh my goodness. Last night was soooooo yummy. Want evidence? See above. Yes, I am a love of steak and blue cheese and all things in between. Dinner was not only delicious food, but great conversation. I talked more than I have in a while and listened a lot too. I’ve missed that. It was … More The Best Appetizer EVER