Stability.

Stability used to be the most important thing to her. She would sacrifice other areas of her life if it meant she didn’t have to deal with change. She was still doing that. Even after everything. She wasn’t happy in life, but being stable was more important than being happy. She was gaining strength. She … More Stability.

Backtracking.

I thought I was leaving the rut. I thought everything was going to be left behind. I was moving forward. Silly me. Official Note from XXX City. That’s what the envelope said. I was stupid enough to think it was a parking ticket I was unaware of. Of course it wasn’t. It was a reminder … More Backtracking.

Reward or Necessity?

So, what is self care exactly? When do you do it? Do you only allow for self care after you’ve gone through a period of extremely hard work? That’s what I used to do. I wouldn’t allow myself a break or period of treating myself unless I achieved a specific level of success. That was … More Reward or Necessity?

I did nothing wrong.

I feel like a fool. I was that typical engaged girl. Showing off my ring. Documenting every wedding planning step. Pretending to be shy whenever anyone asked me about my engagement, but really I wanted to never stop talking about it. I’m sure I annoyed everyone who followed me on social media. Don’t lie. We’ve … More I did nothing wrong.

Just a dress in a box.

I had no clue if what I was doing was traditional. I didn’t really care. I was so excited at the first fitting for my wedding dress. I wasn’t wearing the store sample. I was wearing my dress. What did I do that might not be so traditional? I brought my dad along. He was … More Just a dress in a box.

New Lows…

The depression was hitting hard today. I couldn’t make it out of bad. I almost cancelled my Chinese lesson. The only reason I didn’t was because it’s a virtual class. I couldn’t do anything today. Barely had enough energy to write this. Couldn’t read. No appetite. Last night, I was thrown out again. I make … More New Lows…

I Didn’t Do Enough

Graduate school ends relationships. It’s a mentality that many hold. No, I haven’t searched for the statistics on how many relationships actually end because of graduate school. However, a quick google search will yield numerous articles and forums all along the lines of, “Did graduate school kill your relationship?” No, I’m not going into the … More I Didn’t Do Enough

At what cost?

And we are back to Monday. The depression was hitting hard today. I almost didn’t make it out of bed. There are days when all I want to do is sleep… days when I don’t see the point in getting up. I used to be really passionate about my life. I loved my life. I … More At what cost?