I can feel myself deteriorating. I am so tempted to just take the next steps and free myself of this insanity. Yes, I did manage to get writing done last night. I also stayed up until 3 AM fighting for my self worth and value. I am exhausted. I can see so many ways out, … More Shrinking Into Nothing
It’s hard to fight for something when the other person doesn’t care. It’s hard not to question your worth when you are tossed aside every other day. It’s hard not to question if you will ever be loved again. You were so close to marriage—to starting a new life with someone. That someone was your … More What Am I Fighting For?
Pathetic. That’s what she is. He told her he’s done with her. He told her he never loved her. It was all lies. What does she do? She turns her phone on Loud and waits for him to come back. He’s always come back. She’s done nothing wrong. She’s supported him as much as she … More Pathetic.
He still hasn’t realized it, but his actions would affect her for the rest of her life. Would she trust again? Maybe in a few years. Maybe after letting a few good ones go because she could never really believe they’d want to be with her. Would she be celebrating her 20th wedding anniversary thinking, … More Her Life Has Changed
I must be broken. That’s the only explanation. Unwanted by those supposed to love me most. I must be defective. They must see something fundamentally wrong with me. Relinquished by my birth family. Left shortly before my wedding. Good people don’t have this happen to them, do they? I’m not really sure anymore. It seems … More Am I Broken?
15,000 words so far, and I’m really proud of myself. I don’t know if I’ll ever let anyone read it, but here’s a glimpse of what I’ve been working on… Time stopped. Anna heard a ringing in her eyes and a sharp pain shoot through her head. Her mind tried to wrap itself around the … More 7.8.19–A snippet of what I’ve been working on….
She thought it would be more painful than this. She thought that when he walked out of the door she would either feel excruciating pain or a great rush of relief. She felt neither. What does this mean? Was she dead inside? That’s kind of what it felt like. Her mind raced over what was … More Does This Mean It’s Right?
Image Credit: LFSMusings The thing about compartmentalization is, you have to eventually bring back the hidden stuff and process it. I’m usually very good about that. I store things in different boxes in my mind, and then I make a list of what needs to come back out first and be processed. It’s been different … More When compartmentalization fails
When I first started blogging, I hosted a very niche YouTube video series. Some of you may know me. Some of you may be hearing from me for the first time. For now, I have chosen to remain (mostly) anonymous. Despite encouraging people to own their stories, a part of me still holds back. Fear … More Welcome!
Writing these words is terrifying. For some reason, what happened to me feels like a failure. I’m still not certain that I am completely innocent. … More Quarter Life Crisis