I thought I was leaving the rut. I thought everything was going to be left behind. I was moving forward. Silly me. Official Note from XXX City. That’s what the envelope said. I was stupid enough to think it was a parking ticket I was unaware of. Of course it wasn’t. It was a reminder … More Backtracking.
So, what is self care exactly? When do you do it? Do you only allow for self care after you’ve gone through a period of extremely hard work? That’s what I used to do. I wouldn’t allow myself a break or period of treating myself unless I achieved a specific level of success. That was … More Reward or Necessity?
Graduate school ends relationships. It’s a mentality that many hold. No, I haven’t searched for the statistics on how many relationships actually end because of graduate school. However, a quick google search will yield numerous articles and forums all along the lines of, “Did graduate school kill your relationship?” No, I’m not going into the … More I Didn’t Do Enough
Another day, another fight. It was just like all of the others. They fought for hours. It went around in circles. She thought they had moved onto another topic, but suddenly they were back at the beginning. The fights always ended the same too. They would eventually get tired of arguing, and things were just … More I’m Sorry…?
What a lovely Sunday. I got to sleep in and then heading to couple’s counseling to figure out what’s going on in my relationship. It was pretty helpful and forces us to talk about issues in a controlled setting. Now, I’m at a great little bakery and getting some writing done. I’m snacking on some … More So much food and so many books!
*by bridesmaid I mean supportive friend One of the problems with not showing my struggles is that after a while, everyone thinks I’m fine. There are a handful of friends and family who know I’m not. I put on a happy face, and I tell people everything is okay because I don’t like being a … More Always the bridesmaid* never the bride…?
Those stress headaches? The ones that seem to come out of nowhere? I’ve been dealing with those for months now. Work causes them. My “relationship” causes them. There is always stress. There is always anxiety. I think things are fixed, but then they go back to the way they were. I’ve tried everything. What else … More Why Must I Uproot?
He continues to throw her away. He always comes back with apologies and promises that he won’t leave again. She accepts them. She knows it’s weak. She knows she should do better. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. Why can’t she just choose herself for once? It’s the same thing every time. She thinks … More He Snaps.
I can feel myself deteriorating. I am so tempted to just take the next steps and free myself of this insanity. Yes, I did manage to get writing done last night. I also stayed up until 3 AM fighting for my self worth and value. I am exhausted. I can see so many ways out, … More Shrinking Into Nothing
But that same pain reminds me that what we shared was real. Because isn’t that what love is? Giving yourself to someone. Giving them the power to hurt you and trusting they don’t. … More Love hurts.