Today was supposed to be a happy day. Just like it was supposed to be the best day of my life exactly one year ago. Instead of a wedding, I was blindsided and handed a broken engagement. Two days after my would-be-wedding, I was given a re-examination of my doctoral qualifying exams and was terrified … More I Was Supposed to Be Celebrating
UPDATE: SEE LATEST VIDEO AT BOTTOM OF THE PAGE For those who follow my advocacy here, I posted a video with some major updates on life. For stuff like this, filming is definitely easier than writing. Check it out below: Like the blog? Leave a comment, like, share! Instagram and Twitter: Adoption Advocacy: Books:
If you’ve been following my advocacy and not just my book reviews, then you know I share a lot of myself when talking about adoption. I share both old and new experiences in an effort to make other transracial adoptees feel less alone. I carefully curate what I share. Often, I share everything and then … More My Social Media Boundaries
It’s December 30th, 2019 which means it’s time for a post full of self-reflection and cliches. I’ll start by acknowledging that I think this is the very first time I have posted a picture of myself here. What started as an anonymous blog has morphed into something I am proud to take ownership of… a … More Welcome to 2020
I write a lot about this breakup and abandonment because I see it relate so directly to how I feel about adoption. The same words were used. I had no say in the matter. The same phrases of comfort are given to me. This is a very tangible moment I can process and write about. … More Dodged one bullet, got hit by another
An essay on secondary abandonment and valuing oneself. There they were. Those words that had dictated my entire life. I was so loved, I was abandoned. I was about to hit “order” on the invitation website. Save the dates had already been distributed. A wedding shower was thrown and the thank you cards were sent … More I love you so much I gave you up.
As you know, I went on vacation last weekend. Except it was definitely the type of vacation where you are more tired after you get back. Friday finally came and I was so happy to be able to have a relaxing weekend. I have spent my time reading (although I am not too thrilled about … More Finally a Restful Weekend
I’m tired of everyone expecting me to fix my life instantly. I’m tired of people forcing me to feel something I can’t. I can’t please anyone. They want me happy. They want me angry. They want me sad. If I am one, I can’t be the other. They make me feel selfish and foolish for … More What do you want from me.
I feel like a fool. I was that typical engaged girl. Showing off my ring. Documenting every wedding planning step. Pretending to be shy whenever anyone asked me about my engagement, but really I wanted to never stop talking about it. I’m sure I annoyed everyone who followed me on social media. Don’t lie. We’ve … More I did nothing wrong.
The depression was hitting hard today. I couldn’t make it out of bad. I almost cancelled my Chinese lesson. The only reason I didn’t was because it’s a virtual class. I couldn’t do anything today. Barely had enough energy to write this. Couldn’t read. No appetite. Last night, I was thrown out again. I make … More New Lows…