It’s December 30th, 2019 which means it’s time for a post full of self-reflection and cliches. I’ll start by acknowledging that I think this is the very first time I have posted a picture of myself here. What started as an anonymous blog has morphed into something I am proud to take ownership of… a … More Welcome to 2020
I write a lot about this breakup and abandonment because I see it relate so directly to how I feel about adoption. The same words were used. I had no say in the matter. The same phrases of comfort are given to me. This is a very tangible moment I can process and write about. … More Dodged one bullet, got hit by another
I thought I was leaving the rut. I thought everything was going to be left behind. I was moving forward. Silly me. Official Note from XXX City. That’s what the envelope said. I was stupid enough to think it was a parking ticket I was unaware of. Of course it wasn’t. It was a reminder … More Backtracking.
What a lovely Sunday. I got to sleep in and then heading to couple’s counseling to figure out what’s going on in my relationship. It was pretty helpful and forces us to talk about issues in a controlled setting. Now, I’m at a great little bakery and getting some writing done. I’m snacking on some … More So much food and so many books!
*by bridesmaid I mean supportive friend One of the problems with not showing my struggles is that after a while, everyone thinks I’m fine. There are a handful of friends and family who know I’m not. I put on a happy face, and I tell people everything is okay because I don’t like being a … More Always the bridesmaid* never the bride…?
It’s hard to fight for something when the other person doesn’t care. It’s hard not to question your worth when you are tossed aside every other day. It’s hard not to question if you will ever be loved again. You were so close to marriage—to starting a new life with someone. That someone was your … More What Am I Fighting For?
He still hasn’t realized it, but his actions would affect her for the rest of her life. Would she trust again? Maybe in a few years. Maybe after letting a few good ones go because she could never really believe they’d want to be with her. Would she be celebrating her 20th wedding anniversary thinking, … More Her Life Has Changed
That’s the only explanation. Unwanted by those supposed to love me most. I must be defective. They must see something fundamentally wrong with me. Relinquished by my birth family. Left shortly before my wedding. Good people don’t have this happen to them, do they? I’m not really sure anymore. It seems like everyone is struggling … More Am I Broken?
A short story about boundaries and realizing what you’re worth. Clarice walks into the boutique, surveying the gowns surrounding her. She cannot believe she has gotten herself into this situation. She remembers the lunch like it was yesterday. Teresa had invited her out to lunch. Clarice was pretty surprised given the nature of their last … More Enough.
15,000 words so far, and I’m really proud of myself. I don’t know if I’ll ever let anyone read it, but here’s a glimpse of what I’ve been working on… Time stopped. Anna heard a ringing in her eyes and a sharp pain shoot through her head. Her mind tried to wrap itself around the … More 7.8.19–A snippet of what I’ve been working on….